Deep Down

A year has passed and I have come no further than where I started. In fact, I feel like I have gone backwards and with the squeezing feeling in my chest, my anxiety tells me I am right. Faaack.
My former self hides away under layers of fat and pasty skin. Longing for the days of when I broke a sweat to smell that scent and layed in the sun to feel the warmth wash over me. How do I get her back? The girl I once was. The girl I miss. The girl who spoke up and laughed loudly. The girl who danced until her feet cramped and legs shook with exhaustion. The girl who laughed with her daughter until they both lay on the floor in tears. I miss that girl. I know she's in there. Deep, deep down. I just have to bring her out.