Condiments!
I was sitting at my desk today, thinking about olives and wondered what food category they fell under. I decided to do some research and discovered they are a fruit! With this discovery, I decided that I would contact the Canadian Food Association and pitch to them they add another tier to the Food Guide Pyramid. Condiments. Yes, that's right. Condiments. Think about it. Olives really should fall under that category, not a fruit! If you were to take the time to think about all of the foods that would fall under this new category, it would be simply amazing! Olives would not the lone contender, obviously. The regulars would be there, ketchup, mustard and relish; as would mayonnaise and other spreads like cheese whiz (yes, I said it!), peanut butter and jams. Things that are mostly processed would fall into this new dimension of the guide. Horseradish, Dijon things, mint jellies, honey...all of these things would fit graciously. Pickles, pearl onions; those such things could also be included. Such a wide, vast variety of delectable goodies would finally have their own place in the Food Guide. No longer will people be ashamed to open the refrigerators and scan the empty shelves, only stopping (then wincing) when they find that sole bottle of ketchup or salsa. If condiments had their own chunk of the Pyramid, we could almost start to safely say that we, as a people, could live off of condiments alone! No more $140 grocery bills! Who doesn't have a fridge full of spreads that just wait to grow mould? Now the public could sit and enjoy a nice snack of pickles dipped in cheese whiz without feeling bad, or guilty, or ashamed. They would most definitely get sick after a few, sure, but the point of my thought has nothing to do with the health of the average person. It is simply to put it out there... which I have done. And now that I have thoroughly grossed myself out with the visual of somebody sitting in front of a television, with a bottle of gherkins and a jar of no name cheese whiz, I'm done with this rant.
Bon apetit!
posted by kasi @ 2:42 p.m.
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