Vegemite Sandwich

So, I've started my cleanse. I started it yesterday actually. For the next six weeks I will eat little more than brown rice and veggies. I'm rather excited, as I long to feel the way I once did, about five years ago, when I performed it for the very first time.
In those six weeks, I lost a total of 23Lbs and dropped about 3 sizes. Funny how I only fit into those pants Tanya got me that one time. Funny still, how those pants fit so loosely on Stephanie now. Oh well. Such is life.
More than the weight I lost, I felt amazing. Like, really good. Healthy. My skin glowed and was as close to perfect as it has ever been. I had more energy then ever before. It was easy for me to go on my 5:30am runs and train 3 hours a day, 5 days a week. Hmmm. Come to think of it, maybe it has little to do with the cleanse and more to do with the fact that I was only 25. Meh. Age should have no bearing. Besides, five years isn't really that much. Anyway, where the hell was I?
Right. Brown rice and veggies. So far, as this is only day two, it's been okay. I guess it's imperative to blab of how much of a chocoholic I am. And how lazy I can allow myself to be. I could easily live on chocolate. All kinds. Any kind. Mmmmm, chocolate. Uh, nevermind about that. Damn, where are those almonds? Right.
Brown rice and veggies. I can eat more than just that. It's easier to list what I can not eat, so here goes:

EVIL FOODS TO AVOID (or this will not work and you will suck)

1. Red Meat
2. Dairy
3. Caffeine (light green tea is allowed)
4. White Sugar
5. White Flour
6. Yeast Products (wine,beer,bread...Yeast free bread is allowed)
7. Fried Foods (light stir fry is allowed)

All vegetables are allowed, except for tomatoes. I guess they are evil. And all fruits are allowed, except for bananas and oranges. Something to do with them being evil.
After the first week, I can add fish to my menu.
After the second week, I can add poultry. I love chicken.
Basically, anything that comes in a can or a jar is a big NO-NO. So most of my meals must be prepared ahead of time, or I will never eat. Who has time to actually make dinner at the end of the day? Not unless I want to eat at 7pm. No thanks.
On top of this scrumptious list of goodies (mmm, reece's pieces), I have to inhale a sludge-like concoction of five ingredients: water, hydrated bendonite, caproil, acidopholous, psysilium
Doesn't that sound delicious? Hells yeah! (wretch)
You know, the entire reason I started this post today, was to pass along some information I came across about the Vegemite Sandwich. I heard that song on the radio, you know, the one by Down Under or something. The group from the 80's. Anyway, so he sings a line about the lady giving him a bite of her vegemite sandwich. For years I have thought about what the hell he was going on about, so today, I looked it up. You'd be surprised how many websites there are on Vegemite. It's disgusting. Did you know that it is a spreadable product, made from yeast? Brewer's yeast. A spreadable product like butter, or better yet, margarine. One site had recipes for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Example: scrambled eggs with toast. In stead of butter, spread vegemite on to your toast. Can you believe that??!! The thought alone is enough to make me barf on my desk.
That would be fun though. Not to hurl on my desk, but to drive up beside somebody in their car, do the "roll down your window" gesture and ask them if they have any "vegemite" instead of "grey poupon". I would bust a rib laughing at that. Could you imagine? Good Lord.
It would appear that the lack of sugar has already started to affect my judgment. Excuse me while I find my carrot sticks. Good thing I'm cleansing. I'll pass on the vegemite sandwich.