the bank is empty

One of the hardest things in life to accomplish is happiness. I know this as a hard, true fact. I have come to also realize that no matter what steps you take to make those around you happy, if you're not content within in your own skin, your own mind, your own soul, it matters not how much energy you put forth for others. For almost thirty years now I have spent a good part of this life channeling so much of my positive energy into others, that I think I have started to deplete my personal reserves. That's not to say that I don't fully enjoy making others feel good, laugh, whatever, but I think the time has finally come for me to take a break and work on me. I can still share the love and positive energy, I just need to direct most of it to me first. A tad selfish, yes, but these past couple weeks have been about everybody but me and I'm growing a bit tired. Need to replenish the bank. I've been sad for a while and I hate feeling that way. I love being a happy, hyper, slightly disfunctional person and being sad doesn't allow me that freedom. After this weekend, I'm making it more about me. I think it's time for a new tattoo. Maybe that's really all I need. Well, maybe not all I need, but it's a start. Wish me luck.